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© 2001 by
Michael
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I'm not sure that I can explain this, but for some reason America's
Sweethearts makes me think of Jurassic
Park III. The whole reason for going to see either of these
films is to look at the big guys or gals: T. rex and Spinosaurus in one, Julia
Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the other. Otherwise, neither film has
much going for it. And, some of the encounters between Roberts and
Zeta-Jones do remind me of the encounter between T. rex and.... Excuse me, that
is not very gallant.
O.K., as many films as I sit through (and, all too
often, feel that I am suffering through), I am ready for a film that will dish
the dirt on Hollywood, home of shallow dreams and obnoxious people. The
problem with America's Sweethearts, however, is that it is such a shallow
film, and so many of the folks involved with it would rank among the most
obnoxious people in Tinseltown. (You decide which ones.) Basically,
they are playing themselves, perhaps even being themselves. So, how far
are they going to go to poke fun... at themselves?
Not very. This is a big budget film, with some
high salaries on the books, and it has to sell a whole lot of tickets.
And, guess what? It probably will, not because of any scintillating
wit (unless you count some tiresome Billy Crystal one-liners), depth of
character, interest of plot, or acting ability. It will make a gazillion
dollars because of the names associated with it.
Gwen and
Eddie, the sweethearts of the title, are played by Catherine Zeta-Jones and John
Cusack, with about the least on-screen chemistry I've ever seen. Gwen and
Eddie come together to publicize their new film, a ludicrous science fiction
yarn, as their marriage falls apart. (Gee, anyone thinking Tom and
Nicole?) Billy Crystal as an almost out-to-pasture publicist presides over
the faux reunion of the two not only to save the film's chances of making a
gazillion dollars but also of saving his own job.
There’s nothing
really sweet about these sweethearts. I
keep thinking that Eddie should consider himself lucky to be rid of Gwen (he
does end up with a cactus taking her place), and Gwen didn’t really lose much
when she left Eddie. There’s
nothing warm and cozy about these characters, especially when shown in contrast
to Gwen’s sister Kiki (Julia Roberts). We
can’t feel as sorry for Kiki as the movie wants us to feel if we take Gwen
with the shaker full of salt that the movie offers us. (Hold it for the popcorn.)
The best that I
can say about America’s Sweethearts is that it shares a very good trait
with Jurassic Park III: it’s only about an hour and a half long.
So, go to the video store and look for State
and Main (unfortunately, only on DVD), which came out last year and did
a much, much better job of showing behind-the-scenes Hollywood, not to mention
of being an enjoyable film.
POPCORN
Well, there is
something close, About.com, which
is the site I turn to more than to any other.
It is the starting point for over 700 theme sites, each with a personal
guide, who shares name, photo, and a great deal of information and insight.
I start my searches with About.com’s own search, which helps me get an
idea of which sites to start searching. If
all else fails, I can post a question on the various forums or even send an
e-mail to the guide.
One of my favorite film sites of all is About’s Classic Movies. I've referred to it several times and have communicated with its very communicative and well-informed guide on a few occasions. He or some of the folks in the forum there always come through, no matter how weird my ravin'.
Urban Legends and Folklore is the place to go if you get one of those creepy, probably phony e-mail hoaxes. I’ve mentioned before that I debunk e-mail hoaxes here so quickly that I sometimes wonder if the guide starts them himself.
Recently, however, I turned to a site that I had looked at a few times, but never really got involved with, Folk Music. Back in the sixties, I heard one time a song that has bounced around in my head ever since, and because I either remembered some words incorrectly (or the unremembered singer used some offbeat words), I had never been able to find it. But, within less than twenty-four hours of posting my query on the Folk Music form, I had a response from the genial guide to the site, who, like all the other guides, is more like a host. Now, I know. The little girl in the song was "Melinda," and that was why I couldn't find her song. Thanks, Hugh!
Enjoy this great resource, the better to keep your feet dry (no matter how far you may surf the ‘net), and your heart full of noble thoughts.