ROVIN'
AND RAVIN' WITH MIKE
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Along
Came a Spider
Cast:
Morgan
Freeman, Monica Potter,
Michael
Wincott, Jay O. Sanders,
Dylan
Baker, Raoul Ganeev,
Billy
Burke, Penelope Ann Miller,
Mika
Boorem, Anton Yelchin,
Michael
Moriarty, Kimberly Hawthorne,
Directed
by Lee Tamahori
Written
by James Patterson (novel) and Marc Moss
MPAA:
Rated R for violence and language.
Information from Internet Movie Database
It’s starting to warm up outside, so what better way to spend a couple of
hours in a cool theater with a cool flick, nothing too demanding but with the
promised pleasure of seeing Morgan Freeman again… Well, I can almost bring
myself to say that even a bad film with Morgan Freeman is good. But, after those
two expected cool hours of Along Came a Spider, the best I can say is,
the experience was closer to an hour and a half.
Reprising his role as forensic psychologist Dr. Alex Cross from Kiss the
Girls (1997), based on another novel by James Patterson, Freeman doesn’t
get much help from the script. There are two main elements in a film script, the
story and the characters. Perhaps critics put more emphasis on character
development, just as most likely the narrative in which those characters develop
is more appealing to the general audience.
The
problem with this film is that both of those elements are very seriously flawed.
This kind of film, telling the story of a criminal investigation, can get by
without much character development if the story is strong enough to keep things
moving along. This story isn’t. The story has to be driven by flawless logic.
A mystery—especially a why-done-it like this rather than a
who-done-it—after all, makes its appeal primarily to our intellects. If it is
not intellectually satisfying (not to mention logically consistent), then it is
as big a failure as a porno flick in which the cast all keep their clothes on.
It’s hard to talk about this story without giving away secrets. But, we learn
up front the identity of the kidnapper, a teacher (Wincott) at a Washington,
D.C. prep school, so exclusive that it has Secret Service agents sitting in
classrooms to protect the likes of the daughter (Boorem) of a U.S. senator and
the son of the Russian president. And why, pray tell, is the son of the Russian
president studying in the U.S.?
OK,
you can overlook a problem like that; at least, I can. But, there are just too
many such problems. There’s not one enigma to unwind here, just a lot of
little bits and pieces that go nowhere. Perhaps the greatest trick ending in
recent movies is the conclusion of The Sixth Sense, and I admit that the
first time I saw the film, it took me off guard, but as I reflected on it, I
could see how the film got there, how we got there. Along Came a Spider has
two or three twists on its way to the ending, but as I look back on them, I
can’t see that things—from the original kidnapping, to the involvement of
Cross, to things I shouldn’t tell you about—work out.
One
particular problem for me was the ease with which computers are mined for their
secrets. Let’s say that you decided that one of my passwords would involve the
title of this series of articles, how would you know whether it was RoveandRave
or rove&rave… or…? Dr. Cross has no such problem.
The characterizations add no
interest to the proceedings. How long has it been since it was in any way
fresh or revealing for a criminal to blame his actions on his parents? The
dialog is as conventional as the situations. The music by the usually estimable
Jerry Goldsmith sounds almost as if it is a parody. Tah, tum… Move to
the edge of your seat. (No other reason to.)
Freeman does his valiant best with this film, but at times there seems to be a
bit of bemusement in his face, as if he has to try too hard. Judd as Monica
Potter, the Secret Service agent who considers herself responsible for the
kidnapping, just seems to be walking through a thankless part. Mika Boorem as
the kidnapped student deals with the weirdness of the character’s situation
with a conviction that, perhaps, an older actor would not waste on such
material.
On a happier note, the Online Film Critics Society has been moving around online a bit lately, and it seems that they have finally settled down. You can visit their new online digs to keep up with about a hundred online critics. Keep your feet dry (they really don't want muddy footprints on their e-carpet), your heart full of noble thoughts, and an eye out for spiders that don't really fit onto their webs.