Copyright © 2000 by Michael
Segers, All rights reserved
I
hope that you were spared the recent "Love Bug" virus. While it shows
how connected we all are, that a virus originating in the Philippines could
spread so rapidly around the world, it made me feel that I may not be so
connected after all, since I did not get a single mailing of the virus. Gee, not
even when it is a computer bug can I get the message "ILOVEYOU."
But
there is another bug that has been striking me on the average of once a week,
the FAKE virus. While it is not as destructive as the Love Bug, in some ways, it
is more irritating. Having recently experienced my twentieth exposure to the
FAKE virus this year, I want to share my findings with you. Just think that I am
sending you a personal e-mail, for you to forward to others.
By
the way, I was going to write an article on the "Love Bug," until I
found that Time had beaten me in time, and, gee, I didn’t want them to
feel embarrassed that our little freenet could beat them in quality. So, to take
in an incredible amount of information about the "Love Bug" (and to
discover Time online for free), check out—
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/articles/0,3266,44514,00.html
Now,
what is the FAKE virus? That's not one that we've heard about in the news, but I
am fairly sure that you have been exposed to it. "FAKE" is my name for
"Forwarding Absurdly Krazy E-mail." Think about it. Have you received
an e-mail message forwarded by a friend with a bit of juicy gossip about a
celebrity, some news that the major media have missed (say, the stealing of
kidneys)? Maybe an offer of money, clothes, or trips to Disney World simply for
forwarding the message? Or a proposal to boycott a company, or even a warning
about a computer virus?
I
received so many of these things last year that I made myself a New Year's
resolution that I would check every one that I received in the year 2000 and
notify the person who sent it to me if it was false. Well, of the first twenty
that I received this year, I was able to prove nineteen of them false with less
than a minute's research on the Internet for each of them. Less than a minute!
The one that was true, by the way, was a warning about the "ILOVEYOU"
virus, which did not reach me until after the virus had done most of its damage.
Although
I have written about these e-mail hoaxes before, I have some new guidelines for
you to determine whether you really should forward such messages. Viruses like
"ILOVEYOU" strike our computers, but the FAKE virus strikes us,
so we need to run a little anti-virus software on ourselves.
(1)
If it is a forwarded e-mail message, consider it false.
Since 95% of the forwarded e-mails that I have received have been
hoaxes, it is reasonable to assume that almost all such forwarded messages are
hoaxes. But, if you aren't sure, then read the message… and I wonder sometimes
if the people who forward these things to me bother reading them.
(2)
Look for glaring errors of logic in the message.
One of my favorites is the gasoline boycott. This year, we were
supposed to send some sort of message to the oil companies by not purchasing
gasoline for three days. There is no message there, if we fill up our tanks the
day before the "boycott" and are waiting in line the morning after to
fill them up again. To send a message, we would need to carpool more, drive
less, and drive more fuel-efficient vehicles, so that we could cut down our
actual consumption over a long period of time. What I especially like about this
hoax is that it is based upon a very tiny grain of truth—that gas prices are
too high, that we use too much gas—but it proposes no true solution.
(3)
Be especially suspicious of e-mails about celebrities.
Sometimes, a little common sense
goes a long way. Would a well-known fashion designer appear on national
television to relieve himself of a racist diatribe? On Oprah Winfrey's show, for
heaven's sake? The "information" that you receive about celebrities in
these mailings is way below the level of accuracy in the tabloids that you can
peruse as you stand in line at the grocery store. There is an e-mail piece about
Jane Fonda making the rounds that is so full of misinformation that even Vietnam
veterans who say they have no love for her are speaking out against it because
they do love the truth.
(4)
Look at the originating address.
If the message supposedly comes from a large corporation, it will not
have a free e-mail address (such as Hotmail or Yahoo).
(5)
Ask yourself: if you had to make photocopies,
address envelopes, and pay postage to send the message snail-mail, would you
still send it? Would you make (and
pay for) long distance telephone calls to get the word out? If you would not
take that much trouble, then, don't trouble your friends with the message by
e-mail.
(6)
Watch out for e-mails about e-mail. Many of these
hoaxes have to do with e-mail itself. There are many warnings about fictitious
viruses. As my experience with the warning about "ILOVEYOU" shows, the
virus travels faster than the warnings can. Then, there is my all-time favorite,
the e-mail tracking hoax. According to various forwards that I have received, I
can get money, beer, clothing, and trips to Disney World just for forwarding
e-mail. Sounds too good to be true? Just remember, if does, it probably is. And
this one is. To the best of my knowledge, no one has yet developed a program to
track e-mail, and if there were such a program, would you compromise your
privacy to have your e-mail tracked?
Another
e-mail hoax about e-mail is the rumor that the US Post Office is going to start
charging postage on e-mail or that the Congress is going to vote for a tax on
e-mail. This one is so widespread that the Post Office itself has posted a
disclaimer on its web pages (which are among the most useful pages on the
web)—
www.usps.gov/news/press/99/rumor.htm
(7)
But, doggone it, you just want to send the thing.
OK, just as there is anti-virus software for other viruses, there actually is on
the Internet some wonderful anti-virus software to help you evaluate junk
e-mail.
The
best that I know of is—
http://urbanlegends.about.com/culture/urbanlegends/mbody.htm
This
is the About.com site for urban legends. Guide David Emery is especially strong
at sniffing out e-mail hoaxes. This is my first stop when I’m researching
these hoaxes. Once you get to the site, enter the topic in the search box.
I’ve found all nineteen of my hoaxes here… each in less than a minute. If
you have any desire to forward these dreadful e-mail hoaxes, please run them
through this reality check first. Here is the address for David’s own links
for e-mail and other Internet hoaxes—
http://urbanlegends.about.com/culture/urbanlegends/msubnet.htm
His
site is so good that I’m going to start an urban legend: David Emery
actually sends out these e-mail letters to validate his site. Just kidding,
folks, but this guy is amazing.
Here
are some other sites which may be just as good, but which I never have to refer
to, because I always find out about the phonies at the About.com site—
(8)
If you still absolutely have to send the thing, at least
take out the names and e-mail addresses that it has accumulated.
You still want to send it. You have to send it. Then, do this.
Copy the message itself and paste it into a new message before sending it. I
have received forwarded e-mails with over five hundred e-mail addresses intact.
All I want to publicize is the best little freenet in Georgia. Just think, if I
wanted to publicize a pornographic site, or if I were accumulating e-mail
addresses to sell. If you have no qualms about forwarding either a cheesy prank
or a malicious lie, at least have some feeling about violating the privacy of
your friends and family.
(9)
Finally, keep your feet dry, your heart full of noble
thoughts, and your e-mail messages rich in fresh and original ideas and sincere
feelings. I know that e-mail has had a profound effect, a profoundly good
effect upon several friendships of mine, making it easier for old friends and me
to stay in touch than ever before. But, sometimes, when I check my e-mail and it
is full of e-mail hoaxes and spam, I wonder if it is worth the bother.
(10) If you get e-mail hoaxes forwarded to you, please share this article and its links with the person who forwarded it to you.
Rovin' on the Internet: Online Adventures