ROVIN’ AND RAVIN’ WITH MIKE

Copyright © 1999 by Michael Segers, All rights reserved

Eyes Tightly Open for Eyes Wide Shut

 

   Earlier this year, when director Stanley Kubrick died, I listed his greatest films and asked that if anyone knew anything about his last film, Eyes Wide Shut, the final cut of which he completed the day before his death, to let the rest of us know. That was in March, and now in July, I’m still rovin’ and ravin’ but no longer waitin’ for this final curious chapter of a great body of work. The film is in, the jury is out, and I am feeling very old, because this film reminds me so much of a film of a previous generation, Last Tango in Paris, which some two and a half decades ago arrived with all the hype, pretensions, and bare behinds of this current effort. We don’t seem to have come very far in the past quarter century.

   Based on a little-known novel by Arthur Schnitzler (a play by whom was the basis for La Ronde, Max Ophuls’s charming 1950 film), Eyes Wide Shut is the story of a Manhattan couple, Dr. Bill Harford and his wife Alice (played by real life marrieds, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman). They live in an apartment that most New Yorkers would die for, a masterpiece of defined spaces, shadows, light, paintings, textures, and, oh, yes, a Christmas tree. Although the time sequences are confusing, the film progresses not so much through acts as through almost symphonic movements, variations on themes, but Christmas trees and parties, of a sort, are unifying images.

   The first movement is a Christmas party at a New York townhouse hosted by a patient of "Dr. Bill’s," where the Harfords do not know the other guests. Soon, the doctor is called to treat a nude woman who has just had sex with the host and too many illegal drugs, while Alice drinks too much champagne and suffers the tedious (to us, if not to her) flirtations of some generic, geriatric middle-European lech.

   The second movement is an extended pot-smoking sequence that just does not sound true for a couple of yuppies married nine years and living on Central Park West. A couple of college sophomores, getting together in the dorm while a roommate is away, perhaps, but not people with the sophistication and the track record that these two have. Alice admits that the previous summer she had seen a man with whom she had imagined—umm, breaking her marriage vows.

   Not since Jimmy Carter’s Playboy confession (talk about previous generations) has lust in the heart stirred up so much hoopla. At this point, summarizing fails. You wouldn’t believe it, anyway, as Bill (Cruise) sets out to get even or get laid, but not on the level of fantasy. At least, you can’t believe how boring naked bodies can be, unless you saw Ready to Wear.

   The long, motionless, sometimes emotionless monologues and dialogues are almost a welcome break from a tedious, even silly, masked—what? Orgy, satanic mass, costume party? Something involving a lot of feathers, ear-crunching music, and supposedly some digital masking of the anatomical difference between an R-rating and an NC-17 (which used to be an X). Frankly, my dears, although I kept my eyes tightly open for every visually lush moment of this film, I didn’t see anything amiss—or a-mister, as might be more likely.

   There is a strange kind of unreality about this film. At one point, the central character (Cruise) says that it is just after midnight. A little later, he says that it is just about four in the morning. Yet, as far as I can reconstruct the events, there is no way that so much could have happened in four hours. And, for what it is worth, this sometime Villager does not recognize the names of the streets supposedly in Greenwich Village.

   Kubrick works almost against his text. As I see or read the film, I feel that the repeated message, which is put so often into words, is that somehow desire—pure, impure, sweaty, gut-twisting desire—even if for someone else, is what keeps the mmm in monogamy. Ostensibly, the events of the this film suggest you better not fret, you better not cry, you better not stray from the straight and narrow, or you’ll die of AIDS, get killed by some monstrous (but silly) swingers club, or possibly be sentenced to act in a Stanley Kubrick flick.

   Poor Nicole Kidman. There can’t be any reason for her to drop her drawers as often as she does, and certainly not to be caught sitting on the seat we all must sit on. In another flashback to Last Tango, although a couple of characters are expected to bare their souls, only the woman is expected to bare her butt as well. After the film began, three women charged into the row I was sitting on and occupied the seats to my right. I emphasize they didn’t come in with me: they did come in with bags of burgers and fries in their purses. But, at one point when A Character (I don’t want to give too much away) orders Harford/Cruise to strip, my neighbor said, "Oh, boy, now it’s our turn." But, still, Cruise emerged with a smile on his face… and nothing else emerged.

   As far as the infamous couplings between the famously married couple go, well, they may sell a few tickets (the theater was more crowded than I’ve ever seen it; of course, I haven’t yet seen the latest Star Wars installment). As a service to consumers, let me tell you if you’ve seen the preview or commercial with the "mirror-has-two-faces" bit, you’ve seen it all. There are a few gentler moments, probably the only moments in the whole two and a half hours of this film about real marriages, near the very beginning, when Alice and Bill are running late for a party, fretting over telephone numbers, missing wallets, a child’s bedtime. It is when Kidman is fully (but suggstively) clothed that she is her sexiest.

   Coincidentally, during the week before I saw Eyes Wide Shut, I looked at a book of stills of Marlene Dietrich taken from her films. Some sixty years later, the lush, opulent, fetishistic concoctions that she wore make her look sexier, even kinkier, than anything seen in this film. And, she pulls it all off, but keeps it all on, with a G-rating. There is something very provocative about mystery, and Kidman has left nothing to our imaginations.

   Keep your feet dry, your heart full of noble thoughts, and your browser pointed right here for a column by a very special guest that I’ve wanted to share with you since this series began.

 

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