Copyright © 2000 by Michael
Segers, All rights reserved
"Hello, computer, you cold, unfeeling machine? How are you tonight?"
"Just fine, you squishy, hyperemotional human-thing."
That's not what I mean by chatting with your computer. I want to chat with you, gentle reader, about using your computer to "chat," send e-mail, and access e-mail lists to get in touch with people with similar interests. I also want to talk with you about some safety precautions for yourself and especially for your children.
Now, whenever you are online, sending messages, remember that you need three c's: computer, courtesy, and common sense. Obviously, you have the computer, or you would not be reading this. But, let's think for a moment about common sense, a quality that is not so common anymore and that may be downright lacking in much Internet communication.
You may be sitting alone in your computer room late at night, dressed very casually, perhaps sipping a glass of wine or milk, just you and your computer—cats, parrots, and other living things having given up and gone to bed hours ago. But, you are not alone. There are real live people out there in cyberspace, and they may not be the squeaky clean Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks of You've Got Mail. Be careful about giving out personal information, especially information that might allow you to be tracked down. If you must share personal information, do so by e-mail. Do not give anyone your passwords, and it should go without saying, do not give out your credit card information, unless you are dealing with a reputable merchant at a secure site.
There are two main formats for online chat. I've never enjoyed such chat, so I'm not speaking from much personal experience here. The links or references will give you much more specific information. Chat takes place in real time chat rooms, in which you communicate and interact with whoever happens to be "in" that room at the same time you are. Chat, the exchange of messages, also takes place on forums or bulletin boards, where people post messages on different topics. Later, other people can respond to that message or comment further on that topic. You do not have to be online at the same time with someone else to read that other person's response.
A special concern for parents involving chat is "Keeping Kids Safe Online," the title of a great page of resources:
www.parentsoup.com/edcentral/alu/facts.html
You can also click on "Safe Search" in the margin to the left for a kid-friendly search engine. Again, the key word is common sense. Don't let the computer become some sort of electronic babysitter. Keep up with what your kids are doing and receiving over the Internet, and follow the ideas in the Parent Soup site. Above all, tell them never to give out personal information, and never to arrange meetings with people that they have gotten in touch with. The new ten-year-old friend who wants to talk about Barbie dolls may in fact be a forty-year-old who wants…. You get the picture. Don't scare kids away from all the great resources on the Internet, but encourage them to link to their parents as well.
I am not going to give you addresses for any chat rooms, because as I said, I am not a "chatter," and I would not want to lead you into a den of cyber-iniquity. Remember that to participate in most chat rooms, you have to register, and I suggest that you give as little personal information as possible. For "Chat 101: The Basics of Chat," go to:
The great-grandmother of all chats is:
One kind of chat that I have participated in is the "mailing list." The advantage of such a list is that you do not have to visit a web site. All the "chat"—the interaction and discussion—comes to you by e-mail. Many lists offer the option of getting a "digest" of all responses within a given period (usually twenty-four hours) or of getting each response sent separately. When you subscribe to a list, be sure to download and save its instructions, so that you'll know how to use the list and how to get off it (unsubscribe) whenever you want to. It is very important to keep up with these instructions, which vary from list to list.
Again, I am not going to recommend a list to you, but I will recommend two lists of such lists. One, to which I've referred you in the past, is Liszt:
More recently, I've found "The List of Lists," which I find easier to use:
Take a chance on a mailing list on some topic that interests you. You can always unsubscribe--if you have downloaded the instructions. You might want to subscribe to a new, free e-mail account/address for your list mailings. Among many sites where you can get a free e-mail address are:
Three on-line references which you might find helpful as you explore ways of communicating online are "Electronic Mail Etiquette" ("netiquette"), "Webopedia: The Only Online Dictionary and Search Engine You Need," and "The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary" (emoticons):
www.cs.queensu.ca/FAQs/email/etiquette.html
http://webopedia.internet.com/
http://rcswww.urz.tu-dresden.de/~jloeffle/smiley_dict.html
I have grown tired of "emoticons," such symbols as :) composted of typed letters and symbols to convey emotions, and I have seen longer lists, but this one has some especially creative ones, even Abraham Lincoln.
Now, a few words about courtesy on the Internet, "netiquette," as it is called. Just as you need to use common sense when dealing with the real people on the other end of your computer connection, you also need to be courteous for the same reason. Those are real people out there in cyberspace.
There is something almost addictive about e-mail. When I first got "on-line," friends and I would send each other jokes, odd news, and other things as quickly as we could click on "Forward." But, wait a minute. Are you sure that your friends will want to see this? Especially, will they want for you to clog up their e-mail with long attachments--images, programs, long texts? Maybe you should ask before you send. If possible, send images in as condensed a form as possible. Consider posting your photos on your personal web space, such as members can get at Peanut.org, or anyone can get at such commercial sites as:
There are a number of sites devoted specifically to free family web pages with family pictures and information--for folks who don't think they know how to set up a web page. One of these is "My Family":
As I've written before, there are a lot of hoaxes floating around the Internet. If you receive an e-mail about earning money, free trips to Disney World or clothing from the Gap for participation in some sort of e-mail tracking program, please, please, do not waste your time and your friends' time by forwarding it. For more information and links about Internet hoaxes, go back to the Rovin' and Ravin' contents page, and click on 1999, then select "Get Your Free Trip to Disney World," and follow the links.
Sending great numbers of unrequested e-mails is known as "spamming," and it is a great no-no in netiquette. If you receive "spam," e-mails that you did not request from people or businesses that you have never heard of, do not respond to their offer to remove your address if you notify them. All you do is verify that that e-mail address is valid, and guess what that means? You'll get even more spam. For information on how to deal with spam--
Most Internet courtesy is simply a matter of consideration for others, but there is at least one special bit of "netiquette" you should know about. NEVER SEND A MESSAGE IN ALL CAPITALS. That is the visual equivalent of shouting. If you use all capitals in a chat room, you may get "flamed" for your indiscretion.
If you still do your chatting by telephone and your correspondence on paper, there are some useful web sites for you, nonetheless. One that I consult almost every day at work is that of the US Postal Service:
You can find rates, zip codes, and all kinds of information that will get your "snail-mail" moving almost as fast as e-mail. You can find telephone numbers at a number of sites (no more directory assistance charges), such as Lycos:
I especially appreciate Lycos's tollfree number directory:
www.whowhere.lycos.com/TollFree/search_tf.html
As you rove and rave through the Internet and through what passes for real life these days, keep your feet dry, your heart full of noble thoughts, and for your own good sake, your sense uncommonly common.
Rovin' on the Internet: Online Adventures