Copyright © 2000 by Michael Segers, All rights reserved
I hope that
you were spared the recent "Love Bug" virus. While it shows how connected we all
are, that a virus originating in the Philippines could spread so rapidly around
the world, it made me feel that I may not be so connected after all, since I did
not get a single mailing of the virus. Gee, not even when it is a computer bug
can I get the message "ILOVEYOU."
But there is
another bug that has been striking me on the average of once a week, the FAKE
virus. While it is not as destructive as the Love Bug, in some ways, it is more
irritating. Having recently experienced my twentieth exposure to the FAKE virus
this year, I want to share my findings with you. Just think that I am sending
you a personal e-mail, for you to forward to others.
By the way, I
was going to write an article on the "Love Bug," until I found that Time
had beaten me in time, and, gee, I didn’t want them to feel embarrassed that our
little free-net could beat them in quality. So, to take in an incredible amount
of information about the "Love Bug" (and to discover Time online for
free), check out—
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/articles/0,3266,44514,00.html
Now, what is
the FAKE virus? That's not one that we've heard about in the news, but I am
fairly sure that you have been exposed to it. "FAKE" is my name for "Forwarding
Absurdly Krazy E-mail." Think about it. Have you received an e-mail message
forwarded by a friend with a bit of juicy gossip about a celebrity, some news
that the major media have missed (say, the stealing of kidneys)? Maybe an offer
of money, clothes, or trips to Disney World simply for forwarding the message?
Or a proposal to boycott a company, or even a warning about a computer
virus?
I received so
many of these things last year that I made myself a New Year's resolution that I
would check every one that I received in the year 2000 and notify the person who
sent it to me if it was false. Well, of the first twenty that I received this
year, I was able to find nineteen of them false with less than a minute's
research on the Internet for each of them. Less than a minute! The one that was
true, by the way, was a warning about the "ILOVEYOU" virus, which did not reach
me until after the virus had done most of its damage.
Although I
have written about these e-mail hoaxes before, I have some new guidelines for
you to determine whether you really should forward such messages. Viruses like
"ILOVEYOU" strike our computers, but the FAKE virus strikes us, so we
need to run a little anti-virus software on ourselves.
(1) If it
is a forwarded e-mail message, consider it false. Since 95% of the forwarded e-mails that
I have received have been hoaxes, it is reasonable to assume that almost all
such forwarded messages are hoaxes. But, if you aren't sure, then read the
message… and I wonder sometimes if the people who forward these things to me
bother reading them.
(2) Look
for glaring errors of logic in the message. One of my favorites is the gasoline boycott. This year, we were supposed
to send some sort of message to the oil companies by not purchasing gasoline for
three days. There is no message there, if we fill up our tanks the day before
the "boycott" and are waiting in line the morning after to fill them up again.
To send a message, we would need to carpool more, drive less, and drive more
fuel-efficient vehicles, so that we could cut down our actual consumption over a
long period of time. What I especially like about this hoax is that it is based
upon a very tiny grain of truth—that gas prices are too high, that we use too
much gas—but it proposes no true solution.
(3) Be
especially suspicious of e-mails about celebrities. Sometimes, a little common sense goes a
long way. Would a well-known fashion designer appear on national television to
relieve himself of a racist diatribe? On Oprah Winfrey's show, for heaven's
sake? The "information" that you receive about celebrities in these mailings is
way below the level of accuracy in the tabloids that you can peruse as you stand
in line at the grocery store. There is an e-mail piece about Jane Fonda making
the rounds that is so full of misinformation that even Vietnam veterans who say
they have no love for her are speaking out against it because they do love the
truth.
(4) Look
at the address of origin.
If the message supposedly comes from a large corporation, it will not
have a free e-mail address (such as Hotmail or Yahoo).
(5) Ask
yourself: if you had to make photocopies, address envelopes, and pay postage to
send the message snail-mail, would you still send it? Would you make (and pay for) long
distance telephone calls to get the word out? If you would not take that much
trouble, then, don't trouble your friends with the message by e-mail.
(6) Watch
out for e-mails about e-mail. Many of these hoaxes have to do with e-mail
itself. There are many warnings about fictitious viruses. As my experience with
the warning about "ILOVEYOU" shows, the virus travels faster than the warnings
can. Then, there is my all-time favorite, the e-mail tracking hoax. According to
various forwards that I have received, I can get money, beer, clothing, and trips to Disney World just for forwarding
e-mail. Sounds too good to be true? Just remember, if it does, it probably is.
And this one is. To the best of my knowledge, no one has yet developed a program
to track e-mail, and if there were such a program, would you compromise your
privacy to have your e-mail tracked?
Another
e-mail hoax about e-mail is the rumor that the US Post Office is going to start
charging postage on e-mail or that the Congress is going to vote for a tax on
e-mail. This one is so widespread that the Post Office itself has posted a
disclaimer on its web pages (which are among the most useful pages on the
web).
(7) But,
doggone it, you just want to send the thing. OK, just as there is anti-virus
software for other viruses, there actually is on the Internet some wonderful
anti-virus software to help you evaluate junk e-mail.
The best that
I know of is the
About.com site for urban
legends. Guide David Emery is especially strong at
sniffing out e-mail hoaxes. This is my first stop when I’m researching these
hoaxes. Once you get to the site, enter the topic in the search box. I’ve found
all nineteen of my hoaxes here… each in less than a minute. If you have any
desire to forward these dreadful e-mail hoaxes, please run them through this
reality check first, perhaps beginning with David’s own links for e-mail
and other Internet hoaxes.
His site is
so good that I’m going to start an urban legend: David Emery actually sends
out these e-mail letters to validate his site. Just kidding, folks, but this
guy is amazing.
Here are some
other sites which may be just as good, but which I never have to refer to,
because I always find out about the phonies at the About.com site—
(8) If you
still absolutely have to send the thing, at least take out the names and
e-mail addresses that it has accumulated. You still want to send it. You have to
send it. Then, do this. Copy the message itself and paste it into a new message
before sending it. I have received forwarded e-mails with over five hundred
e-mail addresses intact. All I want to publicize is the best little free-net in
Georgia. Just think, if I wanted to publicize a pornographic site, or if I were
accumulating e-mail addresses to sell. If you have no qualms about forwarding
either a cheesy prank or a malicious lie, at least have some feeling about
violating the privacy of your friends and family.
(9) Finally,
keep your feet dry, your heart full of noble thoughts, and your e-mail
messages rich in fresh and original ideas and sincere feelings. I know that
e-mail has had a profound effect, a profoundly good effect upon several
friendships of mine, making it easier for old friends and me to stay in touch
than ever before. But, sometimes, when I check my e-mail and it is full of
e-mail hoaxes and spam, I wonder if it is worth the bother.
(10) If you get e-mail hoaxes forwarded to you, please share this article and its links with the person who forwarded it to you.